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To the gone children



My baby,


I woke up early today, like every other day. You'd be scared when you woke up and didn't see me on your head, stroking your hair. When he saw it, he would have a big smile on his face. What a beautiful smile. You would get up and hug me around my neck. We used to go to the kitchen together and prepare breakfast. You would help set the table. Small hands could even lift large plates. There is no plate on the table now. Your hands were like cotton. Your eyes were like a deep well. Then we went to the park together. I went today. There's that tree, little pine; grown. The birds were still eating. You loved to feed them. You had friends in the park. They asked about you, I kept silent. One of the dogs made puppies, they are so cute if you see them. The flowers also opened. Spring has come.

I am at home now. If it were you, your head would be on my knee. You would be telling me what we saw with great excitement. Your voice is your voice... It's a bit fluffy...

My baby, your feet are in my hands. Your feet are like your little hands. Let's do a puzzle, go to bed. What a great pair of bear pajamas.

Cacti have grown, you know? It was tiny when we got it. You chose. What shall we cook tomorrow?

Shall we go to the sea? I don't know who to play snowballs with when it snows. baby...

That blue shoe you like has arrived. It's a bit expensive. Shall we buy it?

Are you cold? Are you hungry?

I miss you so much. We'll paint tomorrow, okay?


Should I live? If I die, everyone will be happy, you know? Your hair. If I stick your scent to my nose.


Son... How would life be without you?


Nil Maaya Soydaner

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